What toilet-training can teach us about spreading democracy
So, after about two and a half months of my actively trying to toilet-train my son, including two months of his being able to urinate in the toilet independently, he finally defecated independently in the potty. Granted, I still had to wipe his butt, but that's a vast improvement over wiping his butt (and possibly his legs), and washing the poop off his training underpants (and possibly his pants, socks, and shirt) before he could achieve this awesome victory.
It actually hasn't been that bad, so much as frustrating. I started out using the Toilet training in less than a day procedure, and, sure enough, by the end of the day he knew how to pull down his pants, sit on the potty, get up, pull up his pants, dump the pot of the potty into the toilet, flush the toilet, restore the pot to the potty, and wash his hands in the sink. Problem was, he didn't feel especially motivated to actually urinate on the potty, much less defecate there. On occasion, he would actually go through the whole sitting-on-the-potty drill, and pee in his pants the moment he'd finished washing his hands.
It became clear that he didn't even want to pee in the potty. It was almost two weeks later that he actually did, but he cried and required constant encouragement (and bodily force) to stay on the toilet. Two days later, though, he suddenly got up and went to the potty, where he peed and followed the rest of the routine.
Poop, though, was the problem. It was similar to the pee: he seemed afraid to do it, and even emphatically said, "No poop in potty!" One traumatic defecation followed, then a less traumatic one, but he continued, apparently, to prefer to fill his drawers than the potty. I yelled, I pleaded, I exhorted, I cajoled; I forced him to sit on the potty, I sang songs and played with hand puppets to keep him there; I denied him candy for failing, promised him ice cream to succeed. And nothing really changed.
Then, suddenly, he got up, went to the bathroom (by now a commonplace occurence), and the next thing I heard was his triumphant announcement that he had defecated in the potty.
Sort of like democracy.
Rough segue, I know. But consider this: he was afraid to take responsibility for his own toiletting, or, more accurately, he preferred to let somebody else clean up the mess (to be sure, I'd be fine with his pooping in his pants if he cleaned himself up and did the laundry. . . .). Whatever inducements or reinforcement I offered, he had to make the decision for himself to just do it. All I could really do, in the end, was provide the example of how to use the toilet.
That's the problem with spreading democracy with military force. Democracy must include individual willingness to clean up one's own mess and not oblige others to do so, and that can originate only within a country's citizenry, not from another country. No matter what financial aid or threats of force we can offer, in the end, we can only provide the example, and hope that enough individuals'll finally make the decision to take responsibility for their governance on their own.
I guess George W. never toilet-trained his kids (but he did teach'em how to drink, apparently).
It actually hasn't been that bad, so much as frustrating. I started out using the Toilet training in less than a day procedure, and, sure enough, by the end of the day he knew how to pull down his pants, sit on the potty, get up, pull up his pants, dump the pot of the potty into the toilet, flush the toilet, restore the pot to the potty, and wash his hands in the sink. Problem was, he didn't feel especially motivated to actually urinate on the potty, much less defecate there. On occasion, he would actually go through the whole sitting-on-the-potty drill, and pee in his pants the moment he'd finished washing his hands.
It became clear that he didn't even want to pee in the potty. It was almost two weeks later that he actually did, but he cried and required constant encouragement (and bodily force) to stay on the toilet. Two days later, though, he suddenly got up and went to the potty, where he peed and followed the rest of the routine.
Poop, though, was the problem. It was similar to the pee: he seemed afraid to do it, and even emphatically said, "No poop in potty!" One traumatic defecation followed, then a less traumatic one, but he continued, apparently, to prefer to fill his drawers than the potty. I yelled, I pleaded, I exhorted, I cajoled; I forced him to sit on the potty, I sang songs and played with hand puppets to keep him there; I denied him candy for failing, promised him ice cream to succeed. And nothing really changed.
Then, suddenly, he got up, went to the bathroom (by now a commonplace occurence), and the next thing I heard was his triumphant announcement that he had defecated in the potty.
Sort of like democracy.
Rough segue, I know. But consider this: he was afraid to take responsibility for his own toiletting, or, more accurately, he preferred to let somebody else clean up the mess (to be sure, I'd be fine with his pooping in his pants if he cleaned himself up and did the laundry. . . .). Whatever inducements or reinforcement I offered, he had to make the decision for himself to just do it. All I could really do, in the end, was provide the example of how to use the toilet.
That's the problem with spreading democracy with military force. Democracy must include individual willingness to clean up one's own mess and not oblige others to do so, and that can originate only within a country's citizenry, not from another country. No matter what financial aid or threats of force we can offer, in the end, we can only provide the example, and hope that enough individuals'll finally make the decision to take responsibility for their governance on their own.
I guess George W. never toilet-trained his kids (but he did teach'em how to drink, apparently).
posted by heavynettle at 19:13
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